I have demons in me.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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