Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
they need to just BURY HIM!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize