conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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