I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I am naked and annoyed.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
