i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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