guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
