Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
