She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize