the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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