That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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