dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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