dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
