It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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