i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
