Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
