I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
