She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
