I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize