bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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