it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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