Me too!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
