i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
