My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
