Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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