i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize