Its about making memories worth repressing
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
