Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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