I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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