You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
