I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
