I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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