Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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