I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize