trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize