i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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