How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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