is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
