What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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