is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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