I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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