we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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