accomplished twins. life is a go
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
