May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
