Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You can't special order awesome
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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