I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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