they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize