your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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