we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
