pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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