I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
