Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
