He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
