At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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