is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
