Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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