I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We talked him into tasing himself.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
