whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize