i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
