his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
