Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
