found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
