omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
