You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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