Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
