i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
