Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
